


MY IMMORTALE

by TheSansleyParable (Sansley)



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Various trollfic references, my immortal parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-06-10 12:35:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6956686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sansley/pseuds/TheSansleyParable
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A small goffic child falls into the Underground. The monsters just play along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Hi. My name is Frisk Lucifer Yeter’el Desdeamon Snow. I’m not related to Miike Snow because that’s not a real person. A lot of people tell me I look like Chara Dreemurr (AN: if you dont know who they are get da f outta here!) but I wouldn’t know because I never met them.  
I have medium lenght black hair, which is what brought me to my current situation, but about that later, and eyes the colour of which I’m not really sure but I think it’s red cause that’d be so goff.  
I’m 13 years old and my parents don’t understand me. I am a goff, but they don’t let me do any basic goff things like wear makeup or dye my hair, like what the heck. So one day I when they were at work I took a sharpie and dyed my hair myself. But when they came back they yelled at me! How dare dthey. They wanted to go and cut all my hair in the morning so when they went to sleep I So I ran away from home ato a place I heard was pretty godfic called Mount Ebbot where a legend said no one who went there never came back. It seemed seemed pretty lame at first, but after I looked aroung for a while I found a cool-looking cave and I though ‘hey, maybe there’s bats or something in that cave’ so I jumped into it and gofficly blacked out. When I woke up, I was lying on a bed of golden flowers with gold-coloured petals that looked like gold.  
I got up and saw something suspishius. One of the flowers was moving around. It turned to face me and smiled at me.  
“Howdy!” it said. 

Little did I know, that was the start of the most life changing adventure I’ve ever went on in my entire life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be longer, I just seem to have a tendency of writing these things late at night while simultaneously falling asleep where I stand, sorry.   
> Meanwhile Toriel shows up uninvited.

The flower looked at me strangely, almost as if disaporoving of something, and spoke again.  
“I’m Flowey. Flowey the flower. You’re new to the Underground, ain’t ya’?”  
I looked at him for a moment, judging whether or not he was goff like me, or a prep. I couldn’t decide so I decided to ignore him instead, just to be safe.  
I started walking in his direction only to step over him the second I was close enough. He didn’t appreciate that.  
“Do you think this is a game?” he hissed. I kept walking away until I heard a wooshing sound, wh en I continued walking away. A second later I saw a few white bullet seeds (like the pokemon move) smash into the ground around me. I stopped and listened to what the flower was going to do next. He started speaking again.  
“I do not take kindly to being ignored” he said, his voice much lower now. I turned around. His little flower face was twisted into a very twisted expression which, if you ask me, looked very goffic. Or maybe just dememnted, I wouldn’t know. “See? Much better. This thing there you’ve been ignoring is your SOUL,” he started explaining but I stopped paying attention after the first sentence. He continued talking “And now that you’re paying attention, why don’t you--” he made more bullet seeds out of thin air. “walk into the bullets!”  
“Dude, did you just say bullets?” I aksed concerned  
“No, I said friendliness pellets, what are you, deaf?” he yelled at me.  
“That sounds dumb” I said, avoiding the next wave of bullet seeds he sent flying at me.  
“You know what’s going on here, don’t you?!” he growled.  
“No. Quite frankly I have no idea.” I answerd, but I accidentally let one of the bullet seeds toych me. “The pain” I cried out. “It hurts me”  
Then a fireball came and hit him as he was aboutto kill me and it saved me.  
“Are you okay, my child?” a motherly voice asked and I looked to where it came from.  
It came from a giant goat woman who looked kind but also badass. And she had fire powers, how cool is that? Very. It’s very cool.  
“My name is Toriel. Are you hurt? Come with me.” She said and gave me her hand. I took it and we walked away from the scene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wayne Gretzky RULES!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I can’t bloody write. *questionable author noises*  
> And in the next chapter, we meet even more characters, oh joy.

The ruins were much bigger than I expected them to be. My new mom (I asked her if I can call her mom) lead me through a few rooms filled with dangerous-looking traps and not-so-difficult puzzles and protected me from monster attacks (not that I wouldn’t be able to defend myself myself, of course) for a good while. Unlike my real parents, she even showed me how to fight. Verbally, but it was still something. I only realized something was wrong when she started telling me about indiepundance, and after that, Toriel left the room. It was a rather long room, but there was nothing in it that could hide the fact she just walked behind one of the... big wall-pieces... uhh, columns, near the wall. However she was too kind to me and I decided to play along. After all, she seemed like she really did only try to test my indiepundance. And there was nothing wrong with that, right? Yeah.  
So I walked. And walked. And walked. For a moment I forgot why I was walking in the first place. Suddenly Toriel walked from behind the column and scared me sh...witless.  
“Do not worry, my child, I didn’t leave,” she assured me, and, well. I knew that! “But, how do I put this, now that you showed you’re capable of not getting hurt while by yourself, I wanted to reqwest one more thing of you. Would you mind staying here for a while longer? I wasn’t expecting a guest, and I’d like to clean up a bit. It is safe here, and there is plenty of room in this room so you could... go for a walk in case you get bored. I’ll be back soon, I promise you that.”  
She turned around and was about to walk away when she seemingly remembered something. She looked around her... pockets, I think? - she definitely pulled it out from somewhere in her dress-thing so I assumed it was pockets - and handed me a phone.  
“It’s a little old, but it works.” she told me. “Call me in case something happens or you get lonely. I’ll be seeing you soon, child.” and with that she walked away, this time for real. I mentally noted to myself to tell her my name when she was back.  
I waited for a few minutes before I heard the phone ring.  
“Hello? This is Toriel. I stopped by a shop while on my way home, so it’ll take just a little bit longer. I hope you’re okay with this?” she said.  
“Yes?” I answered, and she hanged up.  
I started walking back and forth around the room after a few minutes when the phone rang again.  
“My child? I’m still in the shop. A small dog has been stealing the things I tried t buy, and I can’t find it now. It might actually take a while longer than expected.” she said.  
I decided not to wait any longer, pretty sure I’d find Toriel’s house before she even paid for whatever she was buying.  
A few steps away from the room I got another phone call from mom, asking me if I’m still in the room and whether I prefer cinnamon or butterscotch. I told her that yes and I don’t really mind either.  
I wasn’t sure where I was going exactly, but seeing as there was only one way to go, I wasn’t going to get lost anyway. After walking through a few rooms, peacefully talking to some monsters, fighting and sparing other monsters, pushing rocks and falling on my butt after stepping over cracked floor panels then pushing some more rocks, I found myself facing two possible ways. I went the one on the opposite side of the room but all that was there were two spider webs. Looking closer I noticed a message, informing me this was the spider bake sale and I could buy food there. I was beginning to get a bit hungry so I put a few bits of gold I found on my way there on the smaller one. A bunch of spiders crawled out of I wasn’t sure where, holding a donut which I carefully took from them, trying not to crush them, because murder is not goffic. It is illegal.  
Going the other way I found a sign saying the spider bake sale sells food for spiders, from spiders... out of spiders. I decided not to eat the donut after that.  
I overheard some monsters talking about the king of monsters, apparently a goat monster called Asgore. I wondered if mom will ever introduce me to that guy. That would be kinda cool. Though he sounded a bit......... preppy, if I do say so myself.  
After some more walking, of which I have been doing a whole lot, falling through the floor some more and pushing some buttons in a room that was the same but different four times in a row, I finally managed to find Toriel.  
“Oh, oh my, my child, are you alright? Did anyone hurt you?” she asked, running up to where I was standing.  
“No, no, I’m fine. No one hurt me.” I told her. She healed me anyway.  
We walked inside her house but she ran off to, judging by the faint smell of burning, the kitchen, saying she forgot something and that my room is the first one to the left.  
It was a pretty room but I had a strange and rather worrying feeling someone lived there before me. Ignoring that feeling I went to bed to rest, because my legs were killing me from all the walking I did.  
After I woke up I barely stopped myself from walking into a piece of cake someone, mom I assumed, left on the floor. Amazing. But really the cake, or pie, was it? It was amazing.  
After walking into the hallway, I found Toriel in the first room to the right, sitting in a big chair, reading a book.  
“Hi mom” I said to catch her attention. “What are you reading?”  
“Oh, hello my child. I’m reading a book” she told me.  
“Yeah, I can see that, but what is it about?” I asked again.  
“It’s facts about snails. Do you want to hear a snail fact?”  
“Sure, I guess?” I mean, snails aren’t exactly the most goffic kind of animal but they’re pretty cool.  
“Snails taste very good in a pie. One day I’ll make some snail pie for you.” Lord, please, no. I knew a guy back on the overground who would be absolutely furious if he heard about this snail-eating nonsense. I, however, was only mildly disgusted by the idea.  
“Okay” I said and left the room.  
I decided to check the other two rooms in the hallway. However one of them was locked so I could only check one.  
It appeared to be Toriel’s room, a neat little place with a bookshelf, a bed, a table and a few plants (including a cactus, which reminded me of a character from an anime I watched once when my parents weren’t home) in it. On the table there was a notebook type thing. I decided to read it. It was full of puns. Lovely.  
Not having much to do, I went back to “my” room and started thinking.  
There were toys and other items a kid would have, but the only kid around was me. Did mom have a kid before? If so, where were they now? Was she married? What happened to the possible past partner that they don’t live together? Was there a way I could use to go back to the surface, not that I really wanted to? And most importantly, what the heck was that flower talking about while I wasn’t paying attention to him? Having all those questions and no answers annoyed me so I decided to get them, somehow. Getting off the bed I walked back to where mom was still reading her snail book.  
“You had a kid before me, right?” I asked. This startled mom a bit.  
“Why... do you ask, my child?” she asked, looking a bit nervous.  
“The room I slept in has kid stuff in it. You live alone now so I guessed that wasn’t always the case.”  
„Yes,” she said in upset. “But they’re gone now. Nothing we can do about it. Would you like some more pie?”  
“Are you married?” I kept asking.  
“...Not anymore.”  
“Is there a way out of ths place?” I asked finally. She dropped her book and got up from her chair.  
“I think that’s enough questions for now. Please go to your room now,” she told me. “I need to do something.”  
Well, boy. If this was her reaction to me asking that, something really bad must have happened in her past. Could it be her ex partner was.............. a prep? I needed to know now. And then it hit me. A preppy goat monster. Could it be? My mom was the ex queen of all monster kind? That would be awesome.  
But that only made me want to meet the king more, to call him out on being preppy and stuff.  
I never really liked to obey my parental figures so instead of going to my room like Toriel told me to I decided to go after her, to see what she was up to.  
I noticed a way which was previously locked was open now, so I deduced that was where she went. I was right.  
“I told you, go to your room. I have important business to attend to,” she told me, not looking at me.  
I continued walking in her direction while she hurried up to wherever she was going.  
“You can’t leave. It is dangerous outside the Ruins,” she kept talking. “You don’t know what they’ll do to you there. You don’t know what Asgore will do to you there. Please just go back up.” Oh. Oh, so I was right. That was all the more reason for me to meet him and tell him what I think about him.  
Well, what I wanted to think about him based on my assumpshions more than anything, but still. He obviously made mom upset and that was unacceptable.  
“You really want to leave that much?” she asked. I didn’t really, but I now, too, had important business to attend to. That was enough of an excuse for me to continue.  
I noticed we were getting near a bid door, and I mean, a really big door. I wondered what was on the other side.  
“Fine. But you’ll have to prove you can survive out there,” she stopped. A ball of fire suddenly flew in my direction and I barely managed to dodge it. What the heck. I looked at her, sparing her.  
Another ball of fire appeared and I dodged it as well, again choosing to spare her. Again and again, this repeated until mom stopped.  
“Why won’t you fight? Ugh, if you want to be like this, okay then. You can leave. But don’t come back. Forget about me. I’ll be fine, just go,” she said, sounding like she was trying really hard to hide the fact she was upset with me. I decided I’ll come back anyway, after I’m done with my plans. Then she walked away.  
I heard her footsteps getting quieter until I could hear them no more.  
Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and walked through, not looking back. I had a mission now.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't drink and drive, kids. 
> 
> What am I doing with my life.


End file.
